Remember Three
by kinole009x
Summary: Lily and Harry have survived Voldemort's attack.  Yet something is not quite right and using memories, Severus must search the madness that is Lily to help her and to earn her forgiveness.
1. Prologue: The Great Hall

_A/N: So this is my third Lily/Severus fiction - I can't help it, I love writing about them. But I think it's sadly going to be my last for awhile, since school starts up very soon. I don't intend it to be too long but I wanted to experiment with the adult Lily & Snape. _

_All characters & settings belong to the fabulous J.K Rowling._

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><p><em>Prologue: The Great Hall<em>

Lily's throat burned horribly.

So many pairs of eyes were watching her and so many bodies were waiting for _something_ to happen and all she could do was stand there, smothered in her memories.

The tears burned the back of her throat. It had been a bad idea to come here.

It would have been so simple for Lily to just turn on her heel and march right out of the Great Hall, but her feet wouldn't move. So this was what it felt like to be rooted to the spot, this was what it felt like to feel everything coming undone.

It wasn't long ago that she had been so confident and so brave, facing the worst of adversaries. But now, as she swallowed painfully against her sorrow, she wondered where that Lily had gone and if she would ever come back.

It had probably only been a few seconds but it felt like an hour. She was probably freaking the students out. She was probably worrying the staff out of their minds.

And then, Lily suddenly saw, out of the corner of her eye, the one person who had always been her source of comfort and who had been her best friend for the longest time. The one person she really needed then and the one person she was avoiding as much as she could. The one person who had hurt her six years ago and the one person who had so much capacity for good, but had turned to evil for reasons she couldn't fathom…

Severus.

He seemed to be the only person who had moved, as he rose slowly out of his seat.

Everyone continued to stare. And she sunk to the ground, her knees hitting the cold, merciless floor.

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><p><em>AN: We will revisit this scene later in the fic, it is actually really important._


	2. Chapter 1: Privet Drive

_Chapter 1: Privet Drive_

_Halloween, 1981_

The door step looked exactly like all the other door steps on that street, but yet, to Lily Potter, this door step was different. She stared at it in dread as she stood in front of it, wondering if she even dared to step onto it and knock on the door that stood behind it. It seemed like a perfectly horrible idea and who knew if she even would be admitted into the house that was attached to the door step.

She looked down at the bundle in her arms and made up her mind immediately. She had no other choice and nowhere else to go. And she would do absolutely anything to keep her son, her baby Harry, safe…even if it meant knocking on her sister's door.

The soft glow of a television drifted from the closed curtains. At least they were still awake. Stepping onto the door step in question, Lily nervously rapped on the door three times, before withdrawing her hand and holding Harry tighter.

There were very heavy footsteps and an angry muttering, before the front door was opened by a huge man with an equally huge mustache. Vernon Dursley stared at her for a moment, looked down at the baby in her arms, and then stepped back in revulsion, as if they had spat fire at him.

"Petunia!" He hissed to the background, his face turning slightly purple.

A few moments later, a bony woman appeared next to Vernon, and upon seeing Lily and Harry on the door step, inhaled a sharp breath. Pulling Lily into the house rather roughly, she slammed the door shut and locked it.

Lily knew that she had only been allowed into the house because Petunia feared her and feared that she would do something to cause attention to their household.

"Lily," she said coldly. "To what do I owe this…_pleasure_?" Her voice was scathing and it made Lily's very insides boil, but she could not let a sister rivalry get in the way of what was really important.

"I need your help, Petunia," Lily said quietly.

"Humph," Petunia eyed her disapprovingly. "That's a first."

"I need somewhere to stay, just for tonight," Lily continued.

"You can't run to that husband of yours?" Petunia asked, her nose still in the air.

"He's dead," Lily said flatly.

The answer did take Petunia by surprise, but she quickly recovered and crossed her arms.

"You're hiding from something, aren't you?" she asked accusingly. "You've come here to put my family in danger, as well?"

"This is the safest place any of us could be," Lily replied, trying to remain calm. "Please Petunia, just tonight. Put me anywhere you want and by morning, I'll be gone."

After a few tense moments and one particularly scandalized look that she shared with her husband, Petunia turned and took a few steps down the hall. She opened a small white door under the stairs and gestured inside grandly. "You're in luck, Lily. We do have a cupboard."

Lily was sure Petunia had offered a cupboard to dishearten her, but Lily thought it was wonderful. Who would look for her in a cupboard under the stairs of a Muggle house in the Muggle world?

"That's perfect," Lily said. "Thank you, Petunia." She gratefully stepped into the cupboard with Harry, ignoring Petunia's look of indignant surprise.

As Lily shut the door behind her, she could still hear their voices.

"Do you think the neighbors saw?" Petunia asked fearfully as she and Vernon walked away from the cupboard.

Lily rolled her eyes as she sat in the corner of the dark cupboard. She felt around cautiously until she found something soft – a warm coat – for Harry to lie on. Taking a tiny blanket out of the bag she had carried along, Lily wrapped him in it, and lay down next to him.

She didn't allow herself to think about how James had died at the hands of You-Know-Who and she didn't allow herself to think about how she and Harry had come so close to the same fate. She didn't even allow herself to wonder where she would go the next morning. Nowhere seemed safe in the wizarding world and she didn't know who to trust. She hadn't even felt comfortable apparating to Privet Drive.

Emotional and physical exhaustion took over and Lily fell asleep instantly.

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><p><em>AN: I'm not sure if babies can apparate. I even Googled it and it is a subject of debate - people figure its possibly but just not safe. But since it was an emergency and Lily is a gifted witch, we are going to go for a yes in this chapter._


	3. Chapter 2: Snape

_Chapter 2: Snape_

Only a few hours later, Lily awoke to a soft, creaking noise. Sitting up instantly, she peered into the darkness as she reached into her bag and dug around for her wand. The door was opening slowly and as it opened fully, a dark figure appeared.

Thoughts of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named returned to Lily and warning signals went off in her chest. Surely the dark figure was him; he had found them at last and they would die, just like James had died. Lily quickly pulled out her wand and moved to lean over Harry, but in her haste, bumped into a rickety shelf. A random object that had been on the shelf crashed loudly to the floor. The sudden loud noise woke Harry, who began to cry, and only moments later, Lily heard loud footsteps descending the stairs above her.

The hall light flicked on and Lily was beyond shocked to see, standing in the doorway of the cupboard, none other than Severus Snape.

He was looking at her with an unreadable expression and as Petunia and Vernon arrived in the hallway, his eyes slowly traveled to them.

"Who in the bloody hell are you!" Vernon was yelling. "An intruder, IN MY HOUSE! I'll have the forces on you, you can count on THAT!"

Snape ignored him and stepped into the cupboard to kneel in front of Lily, who had put her wand back in the bag and picked up a whimpering Harry.

"What are you doing here?" Lily hissed, with only one thought in her mind: that Snape was a Death Eater and therefore, was connected to You-Know-Who. Was he coming to fetch them for his master?

Snape said nothing, but only fixed her with an intense stare and held out his hand to her.

Lily looked at his hand irritably. "I'm not going with you!" she whispered.

"Lily!" Petunia's shrill voice rang out through the hall and traveled unpleasantly into the cupboard. "I knew you would bring danger to my home! I knew it!"

Casting an angry glare at Snape, Lily grabbed her bag and holding Harry close to her, crawled out of the cupboard, past Snape, and got to her feet. There was no way that she would be allowed to stay the night now.

Vernon was still bellowing at the top of his lungs, threatening to get his rifle and stepping carefully towards the telephone. Snape got out of the cupboard and standing up, slammed the door.

"I know who you are," Petunia said cruelly. "You're that strange, freakish boy that lived near us when we were growing up."

"Yes," Snape said coldly. "And you're that nosy, insufferable girl who lived with Lily."

For the second time that night, Petunia put her nose in the air. "You haven't changed a bit."

"Nor you," Snape murmured, swishing past her as he made his way to the front door and opened it.

"No!" Petunia said quickly. "Don't use the front door!"

Snape stared at her for a moment, before turning his gaze unto Lily. Almost near tears of frustration, Lily slung her bag over her shoulder and brushed past her sister towards Snape. As soon as they were on the doorstep, Lily closed the door and stood there, holding Harry.

Snape had been about to stride down the walkway, but he turned now and saw that Lily wasn't following him.

Lily wanted to yell at him that it was all his fault; he had ruined everything by sneaking into her sister's house and now she had absolutely nowhere to stay and she was _sure_ not going with him…

"What was that all about?" she exclaimed angrily instead.

"I've come to take you somewhere safe," Snape said calmly. "This place can hardly be considered such."

"And going somewhere with you _is_ safe?" Lily spat back. "You're one of _his_ followers!"

A hint of…something…flashed through Snape's eyes – Lily wasn't sure if it was remorse or pain or _whatever_ – but he merely closed his eyes for a moment, before opening them again. "There's more to it than that."

"After what _he_ did to us tonight," Lily's whispered icily. "After what _he _did to James, I will not go walking back to him. And I won't go with you."

"You're going to stay here then?" Snape asked quietly. "For how long do you plan to survive with _them_?"

Lily knew by his disgusted _them_ that he meant the Dursleys. She looked away from his black eyes which now seemed so cold. "I was going to stay until tomorrow morning." She didn't mind telling him this now, since her plans were ruined anyway.

"So why not leave now?" Snape asked her in quiet exasperation. "Where do you plan to go tomorrow?"

"I don't know."

"Despite what you may believe, Lily," Snape said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm not taking you to the Dark Lord. I'm taking you to Albus Dumbledore."

Lily looked back up at him. "Why should I believe that?"

"Because you have nowhere else to go and no one else to trust," Snape said darkly. He began to back down the path, holding her eyes with his. Almost entranced by his black eyes and the confusing emotions that occasionally surfaced in them, Lily stood, rooted to the spot.

And then…

_How dare he?_ Lily dropped her bag onto the ground and gently set Harry next to it, onto the soft, perfectly manicured grass. _How dare he demand that she trust him, just because there was no one else? _

Severus might have been her best friend for a long time, but she hadn't forgotten how he had insulted her long ago and she hadn't spoken to him since he had turned toward the dark side. She hardly knew him anymore. And if he had still been her best friend, this would have been the time she needed him more than anything and she couldn't even trust him…

Lily stormed towards Snape angrily and stood right in front of him. "Nowhere to go and no one to trust?" She repeated as she grabbed his left arm and yanked up his black sleeve. Sure enough, burned black into his flesh, was the Dark Mark.

Confirmation, Lily decided then, was a horrible ordeal.

"So I should trust you and this?" Lily asked quietly, looking up into his face. He was staring down at her with no expression, but Lily knew him better than that. She could see the horror and shock that had briefly passed through his eyes. Yet he did not move away from her.

"I wasn't denying anything, Lily," he whispered.

Lily dropped Snape's arm and backed away from him. She picked Harry back up and held him close, wondering what to do. She couldn't stand on the Dursleys' doorstep all night.

And quite suddenly, Lily's stomach lurched. A strange, unfamiliar feeling had clouded her mind and contorted her body, making her feel sick. She shivered as the uncomfortable feeling lingered unpleasantly. All warning signals and thoughts of danger seemed to melt away.

Without quite intending to, Lily walked towards Snape and waited. She allowed him to take her arm and apparate her and Harry to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Dumbledore's office was as comfortable as ever, with a bright, roaring fire and sleeping portraits on the walls. Dumbledore himself offered her and Harry his spare room, but concerned for her state of mind, he first asked Snape to get her a sleeping potion that would help her get some proper rest after the traumatizing night she had experienced.

Disturbed that she had trusted Snape so easily and that he had been true to his word, Lily took the potion and ascended the spiral staircase with Harry. She went into the room on the left and found a comfortable guestroom. As she fell asleep next to Harry, she couldn't help but think that it was a much better place to spend the night than Petunia's cupboard.

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><p><em>AN: I know that Hogwarts is a place where apparation isn't quite allowed, but I think this would count as a special circumstance, under Dumbledore's permission._


	4. Chapter 3: The Feeling

_Chapter 3: The Feeling_

_The early morning hours of November 1, 1981_

Nightmares and grief were apparently not a good combination for Lily, because they led to something that she had not experienced ever in her life. She had never been a sleepwalker and yet, she found herself mysteriously sitting on the front steps outside of Hogwarts, the moon driven away by the light rain that was falling.

Getting to her feet, Lily looked around wildly. Everything was dark; it was clearly still night, but what had possessed her to leave the castle, even in her sleep? She ran up the rest of the steps and pulled on the door, although she knew it was locked. How had she gotten outside then?

Soaked to her very skin, Lily cried out in frustration. She didn't have her wand and apparating on Hogwarts grounds was only allowed in very rare and special situations. So she slowly stepped back down the slippery steps and began to walk around the castle. It wasn't that she really expected to find an alternative way in, but she had to try. Her skin tingled with the wet cold and her mind was exhausted.

And then, she thought of it…Hagrid's hut! She knew it was late, but surely Hagrid would let her stay with him until morning or at least he could maybe get her back into the castle…

Lily began to run across the grounds. She had never felt so stupid before. Sleepwalking and getting locked out of the castle, in the pouring rain! She was almost halfway to Hagrid's when she tripped over a heavy object and fell to the ground.

The rain was coming down in sheets now and at first, she couldn't even see what she had fallen over. She crawled over to it and squinting through the rain, was repulsed to see a large, fat, black snake curled in the grass.

Lily immediately moved away, wondering if such a creature was a product of the Forbidden Forest, which was not far away. And just as the snake spotted her with its red eyes and rose to look her in the face, Lily's stomach gave a wild lurch.

The strange, awful feeling from earlier that night returned. She felt her revulsion and fear slip away as a sense of calm and command washed over her. She stared at the snake in return and moved closer, until her face was only inches away from it. And very suddenly and unexpectedly, Lily began to speak to it.

It was like her real self was watching from a distance and unable to control what was happening. Lily could not stop the stream of words that were rushing from her mouth. She wasn't even aware of what she was saying to it, only that it continued to stare and that it seemed to understand.

The wind pounded in her ears. It was the loudest thing she could hear.

And then the uncomfortable feeling vanished and the snake bared its fangs. Frozen in fear, Lily could only stare.

That's when a voice shouted "_Vipera Evanesca_!" and the snake gently unraveled into flame and nothingness. Stunned, Lily spun around.

Snape was standing behind her and holding his wand, with a look of shocked alarm on his pale face. He fell onto his knees before Lily and careful not to touch her – because he knew she still didn't trust him and she was still angry with him – he looked into her frightened eyes.

He couldn't even find the words to ask her what had just happened.

Lily's mind was absolutely reeling. She couldn't understand anything that was happening. She stared at Snape for a moment, before remembering something…he had given her a potion, hadn't he? Very odd that shortly after, she had sleepwalked for the first time ever and ended up outside the castle walls…

"What kind of potion did you give me?" Lily asked him desperately, reaching forward and grasping his wet cloak.

"A simple sleeping potion -"

"But I _never_ sleepwalk…" She trailed off, letting the accusation hang in the air between them.

"How did you get out of the castle, Lily?" Snape asked in a low voice.

"I don't know, Severus!"

Snape was momentarily silent. Something was wrong, so wrong. He took Lily's trembling hands and helped her to her feet. Holding onto her hand securely, he led her back to the unlocked front door of Hogwarts at an urgent pace, his cloak and long, black hair whipping wildly in the wind. Once they were back inside and the locks had been redone and everything was once again safe, he pulled out his wand and pointing from her head to her toes, muttered, "_Siccus!_" Lily felt a warmth spread through her entire body and she realized she was slowly drying, the water no longer dripping from her body.

Up the numerous staircases they went, moving steadily towards Dumbledore's office. Everything was dead silent and dark except for the occasional flicker of a torch and they ran into no difficulties until they were on one particular staircase very close to their destination. They were halfway up it, almost to the top, when it suddenly began to move. This fact in itself was not alarming, because the staircases often did move, but what was frightening was the fact that the staircase stopped in midair, hovering over nothingness. It did not connect to another landing; the bottom end merely hung somewhere in between.

It gave a great jolt and Lily and Snape were thrown backwards, falling down the rest of the staircase and almost tumbling right over the edge. Snape managed to grasp the banister with his right hand and with his left, he grabbed desperately for Lily.

Lily caught Snape's arm just in time, but the force of her clinging nails caused the fabric of his sleeve to rip right off. Lily's hand slipped down to Snape's and she was left staring at his now visible arm, with the Dark Mark branded into it.

And then the Feeling – as Lily was coming to know it as – returned. There was the lurch and the discomfort and Lily suddenly let out a sharp, maniacal laugh that rang throughout the corridor. It was a laugh that loved danger and thrived with uncomfortable and desperate situations – something very un-Lily. And just as soon as the Feeling had come, it left, and Lily's eyes widened in terrible confusion as she realized what she had just done.

In quiet, desperate horror at _everything_ that had happened, Snape found the strength to heave Lily back onto the staircase and they fall back onto the stairs with an ungraceful thump. Lily crawled off of Snape, not wanting to face him after all the mortifying things she had done in front of him that night, and instead focused on a soft, comforting light that was moving closer.

Dumbledore had arrived, to their rescue, at last.

…

Lily and Snape both wanted to talk to Dumbledore, but not while the other was present. Lily went first, talking to Dumbledore outside his office, where he apologetically filled her in on everything that had happened, including Snape's return to their side. Feeling rather dizzy from all the information she had received, Lily went back into the office and passed Snape, who was sitting silently in an armchair and awaiting his turn to speak to the Headmaster.

Lily felt more trusting towards him now, but at the foot of the stairs that led to the guestroom, she turned back. He wasn't looking at her, but was staring into the fire, unseeing. His ripped sleeve was very visible, showing his Dark Mark fully, and it was like another presence in the room.

And although Lily was more trusting now, she wasn't fully comfortable. She still longed for her best friend and couldn't believe that he was somewhere inside the grown, sullen man who sat before her now, evil burned into his skin and silence radiating from every pore.

Finally, Snape stood and moved towards the door for his own meeting with Dumbledore. Lily could stay silent no longer as her burning question burst out.

"Why did you?"

Snape turned quickly, his hand on the door knob.

"Why did you turn back to our side?" Lily whispered.

Snape studied her carefully, before stating his answer.

"For you."

And then in a swirl of black cloak, he left the room.

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><p><em>AN: Thank you so much for the reviews thus far! I'm so glad that people seem interested in this. Also, "Sicco!" means "dry" in latin, so I made a little spell out of it. And I know I used another "Lily-and-Severus-Hanging-Over-The-Edge-Of-Something" like I did in another fic of mine, but it seemed to fit :)_

_I hope this chapter didn't seem too rushed. I know there wasn't too much conversation between them, but I didn't expect there would be because Lily doesn't trust him, Snape knows she doesn't trust him, and two pretty weird and frightening things just happened. So, therefore, silence._

_Yay! :)_


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